


I Wish | Larry Stylinson SongFic

by InfinityCollies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 16:26:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18167492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityCollies/pseuds/InfinityCollies
Summary: “I won’t be you one-night stand tonight! That’s the reason you came earlier. Am I right?”





	1. Chapter 01 - Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> I would be happy, if you write a comment, when you find a grammar or spelling mistake.

Na na na na na  
Na na na na na

I stared tired at the ceiling. Today was the third night in a row Louis went to a club and to a woman or man afterwards. His personal record! Up to now he was not more than two nights in a row at a club. But three? Will be tomorrow the fourth night? Besides, it got more often that Louis was one or two nights at a club.  
While he had fun, I lay in my bed trying to sleep. However, I was only plagued by sadness, disappointment, anger and jealousy, which prevented me from sleeping. Yes, I was jealous of the woman and man Louis spent the night with. I was just his friend he could cuddle with, when he had not a one-night stand. That hurt, but I had never dared to tell him that, because I was afraid of his reaction.

He takes your hand, I die a little,  
I watch your eyes and I’m in riddles  
Why can’t you look at me like that?

To make matters worse, it had the reason that I was in love with Louis and I did not want him to find out. Even though I had a little hope that he would come before midnight. I got lovesickness when I remembered that this was not the case yet and I hated myself for hoping that Louis would come before the next morning. I felt a tear running down my face slowly. For every new thought about Louis another one was added.  
I began to sob violently a few minutes later and could not hold back the tears. Then, the light in Liam’s room was switched on and I heard somebody knocking on my door shortly after. I sometimes wonder, if it annoyed him, Niall and Zayn that I often cried at night.  
“Yes,” I said with a breaking voice and the door opened.  
Liam came to my bed and sat down on the edge. He carefully stroke my arm.  
“You should really talk to him”, he meant to me.  
Barely visible, I shook my head. What should I tell Louis? I’m in love with you, would you like to stay the night?  
Liam seemed to think shortly. “Shall I talk to him?”  
I looked at him in shocked. “No!”  
“I wouldn’t tell him you’re in love with him.”  
“Okay,” I answered quietly, although I could not imagine it helping. Louis would always be the player he is.  
“Sleep now”, Liam meant after me were silent for a few minutes and my tears became less.  
“Good night and thank you for taking care of me.”  
“Always”, Liam replied with a warm smile, “I just can’t stand to see you suffering because of Louis.”  
After he left my room, I managed to fall asleep overtired.

When you walk by, I try to say it,  
But then I freeze and never do it  
My tongue gets tied, the words get trapped

The next morning, I was woken up by a door that fell loudly into the lock. I saw it was already nine o’clock when I looked at the clock. Had I slept that long? I got nervous immediately because Louis had just come. I hated myself for being a little bit happy about it.

I hear the beat of my heart getting louder whenever I’m near you

Then, I heard footsteps coming towards mine and Louis’ room. They were Louis’ footsteps. I suddenly heard someone walking to him. He talked to Louis angrily, after he caught up with him.  
“You can’t just get in there!” It was Liam’s voice. Although he was made, he talked quietly.  
“Why,” Louis asked confused, “it’s my room.”  
“Your room? When was the last time you slept in your room?”  
Silence.  
“Besides, I think Harry still sleeps. He didn't get much sleep last night.”  
“So what? What's that got to do with it?” Louis sounded angry.  
Ouch.  
“A lot,” Liam replied, “think about it. Don’t you think Harry feels a little neglected by you? He misses you.”  
Silence.

But I see you, with him, slow dancing  
Tearing me apart ‘cause you don’t see  
Whenever you kiss him, I’m breaking  
Oh how I wish that was me

“Do you even enjoy one-night stands,” Liam asked and I did not know, why he asked that.  
“What?” Louis was as confused as I.  
“I asked you, if you enjoy the one-night stands.” I was sure that Liam knew that Louis had understand it and he just wanted to provoke him.  
Louis said nothing again.  
“Talk to Harry,” were the last words Liam could say before Louis opened my door and I closed my eyes quickly. I did not want him to know that I listened to his and Liam’s talk. Unfortunately he knew.  
“I know you’re awake,” Louis meant after he closed the door. You could hear how angry he was. The alcohol he drank last night did not make it any better.  
Ouch.  
Only with effort, I managed to hold the tears back; nevertheless, my vision blurred a little. Why did have to fall in love with a player? Who had no feelings for me and didn’t even care much about our friendship.

Although Louis, Niall, Liam, Zayn and I had a break from our first tour, we had to perform at an event today. I would normally look forward to it but not today. Everybody would see how tired I was and how bad I was feeling.  
After we sung the first three songs, we had to sing “I Wish” and “What Makes You Beautiful”. During the second verse of “I Wish”, I felt my eyes fill with tears. I closed my eyes depressed, but the tears still ran down my face. I did not bother to wipe them of. It was already too late. Everybody had seen them.  
After I had finished my part, Liam rested a Hand on my shoulder. Somehow, I hoped it was Louis’, but I did not wanted this anyway. I looked at Liam thankfully. I was happy to have someone like him as band member. Unfortunately, I had to sing the first part of the bridge of “I Wish”, but my voice broke off after the first few words. Liam quickly took over and I buried my face in my hands.  
Why? Why did this have to happen to me? Why couldn’t Louis love me? Why did he have to hurt me so bad by having one-night stands all the time? Sometimes I thought about going to a club with him. If Louis and I both drank enough alcohol, maybe we’d have gone together, but I had discarded this thought every time quickly. I didn't just want to sleep with Louis. Besides, it would have been my first time, which shouldn't end as a one-night stand.

He looks at you, the way that I would,   
Does all the things I know that I could  
If only time could just turn back

“Stop!” Liam suddenly said after the song was finished.  
I looked up and saw Louis a few meters next to me.  
“Go,” Liam said angrily before I could react.  
“I didn’t do anything,” Louis defended himself.  
“Yes, you have! You just don’t notice!”  
Louis wanted to say something, but Liam gave him a warning look. Louis gave up and went back to his place with a hanging head.  
I hope our fans don’t take my little mental breakdown too seriously, I thought when we left the stage.  
While Niall, Zayn and I went too our dressing rooms quickly, Louis and Liam discussed in the common room. You could not understand what they were saying. However, it did not bother me. I did not have the strength to listen to any conversation.

I lay in my bed alone again in the evening. Today was in fact the fourth night in a row, Louis went to a club. I tried to sleep, but suddenly someone lay next to me. I had not noticed it right away. Before I could think about who it was, I smelled Louis’ perfume. I was surprised that he did not smell like alcohol. A warm feeling spread in my body immediately. Why had he come back?  
Unable to move, I stared at the wall and pretended that I was sleeping, but my heart beat was way too fast for that. Why was I that nervous suddenly? Then, I felt a pair of eyes on my back. I could not resist it and turned slowly. I looked into Louis’ ice-blue eyes. They got a grey glimmer in the dark.


	2. Chapter 02 - One-Night Stand

I did not know how long we just lay there and looked at each other.

‘Cause I got three little words that I've always been dying to tell you

Louis suddenly came a little closer and gently turned me on my back. Then, Louis leaned over me and captivated me with his ice-blue gaze. My heart skipped a beat, only to continue beating at double speed. I realized what was happening right now, when I felt Louis’ breath on my lips and I closed my eyes. Louis kissed me in the next moment. Unable to think straight, I enjoyed the moment.  
The kiss was gentle and innocent until Louis stroked his tongue over my lower lip. I moaned quietly, when I opened my mouth a little. Louis smiled into the kiss and drove with one hand under my T-shirt. I enjoyed every of Louis’ touches. I could not say how often I imagined that in my daydreams.  
But suddenly I was aware why Louis had come back. I was supposed to be his one-night stand tonight. I pushed him away angrily.

But I see you, with him, slow dancing  
Tearing me apart ‘cause you don’t see  
Whenever you kiss him, I’m breaking  
Oh how I wish that was me

Louis looked at me irritated. He was about to say something, but I talked first. “I won’t be you one-night stand tonight! That’s the reason you came earlier. Am I right?” I sounded angrier than I wanted to.  
“No … I …,” Louis stuttered. He was surprised.  
“Take someone else,” I said angrily, “I won’t allow you to play with my feelings!”  
Louis was about to say something.  
“Go!” I shouted.  
Louis left my bed and went out of my room.  
I almost cried. It could have been so beautiful.

With my hands on your waist, while we dance in the moonlight  
I wish it was me, that you’ll call later on ‘cause you wanna say good night

I woke up at the next morning tired. When my memories of last night came back, I sat up jerkily. Had that really happened? Had Louis really kissed me?  
My room door opened suddenly and Louis came in. I did not wanted to talk to him right now.  
“Harry –,” he said, but I shook my head.  
“No! Just forget it, okay!?”  
“I was serious.”  
I was quiet for a second. No, I said to myself, he uses you.  
“Me too. Please, go. Yesterday means nothing.”  
“Not for me.” Louis looked at me and I almost could not resist his gaze.  
I closed my eyes shortly. “But for me.” It was hard to lie. Wasn’t that what I always wanted? That Louis kisses me? That he is close to me? Yes, but not when he uses me. Despite, I knew I was wrong and Louis was serious, but I was too hurt to see.

‘Cause I see you, with him, slow dancing  
Tearing me apart ‘cause you don’t see

Before Louis left disappointed my room, he said quietly, “breakfast is ready.”  
After I put on my clothes, I went to the kitchen. Louis, Niall, Liam and Zayn already sat on the table and ate quietly. Nobody said something, because Liam, Niall and Zayn knew what happened last night. They did not wanted to cause an argument.  
I had to go to Liam’s room with him after the breakfast. “What happened yesterday?”  
“I don’t know what you mean.” I acted like I did not knew anything. It was not really a good idea.  
Liam sighed. “Louis told me what happened.”  
“I thought he went to a club.”  
“No, of course he wasn’t there. Do you really think, he wanted to use you?”  
I did not know what to thought about it or how to react.  
“You know, he’s sure,” Liam said, “it was hard to believe, but you should’ve seen him yesterday. He was really sad. Louis thought you fell the same.”  
“He hurt me,” I said quietly and honest, “I’m afraid he will do it again.”  
I went to my room again after a few minutes and sat next to Louis on the bed.  
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

But I see you, with him, slow dancing  
Tearing me apart ‘cause you don’t see  
Whenever you kiss him, I’m breaking

“Don’t be sorry,” Louis meant quietly and I looked at him in surprise, “it was my fault. I was often at clubs and had one-night stands to forget my feelings for you. If I was you, I would’ve react the same. Besides, I didn’t notice how you were feeling. I didn’t wanted to destroy our friendship, so I’ve tried to forget my feelings. I did it anyway. I would understand it, if you don’t want to be a friend of mine anymore. But, please, accept my apology. I don’t know what I would do, if you don’t do it. I’m so sorry!”  
As Louis said the last four words, he looked me in the eyes. His bright eyes were almost grey at the moment.  
“I accept you apology,” I said and smiled a bit. I had to accept it.  
“I shouldn’t have pushed you away yesterday,” I suddenly whispered and looked at the floor. Can’t I think first, before I talk? The more important question was: What is between Louis and me now?  
Nobody said anything for a few minutes.  
“I think,” Louis suddenly said with a quiet voice, “we shouldn’t do anything, before we aren’t ready for it.”  
I nodded. He was right.

Oh how I wish  
Oh how I wish  
Oh how I wish that was me  
Oh how I wish that was me

Louis and I were from day to day more closely. He did not went at clubs anymore or had one-night stands. I lay in his arms at night instead.  
I looked at Louis more often in love. If he had noticed it, I took my gaze from him immediately. Then, he smiled and I had to smile too. I thought it was cute, when he smiled because of me.  
Even our fans noticed that something was going on between Louis and me. You could see the glances we shared on many pictures. Our handling changed.

Louis and I told each other from our feelings one week ago.  
Tomorrow was the first day, we would go on tour again. I looked forward to it.

Louis, Niall, Liam, Zayn and I just came back from our last meeting.  
“Do we want to go to a club in the evening today?” Zayn asked, after we put our jackets off.  
“No.” Louis answered and he got surprised gazes from me and the others. “I was often enough at a club in the last time.” Louis looked me shortly.  
“I won’t come with you, too,” I meant and Louis smiled a bit.  
“Okay,” Liam said and grinned, “it’s just Niall, Zayn and me then.”  
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

Louis and I were two hours later alone in our apartment.  
“Do we want to watch a movie?” he shouted from the living room.  
I went to Louis at sat next to him on the sofa. His look said that we will not just watch a movie and cuddle a bit. I smiled.  
We watched “Titanic”, although we had watched it already for many times.  
I paused after an half our and wanted to go to the kitchen.  
“Where are you going?” Louis asked.  
“I make popcorn.”  
As it was ready and after I had filled it into a bowl, I felt Louis’ body on my back and he held me tight. I jerked together in shock. Before I could do anything, Louis took some popcorn and ate it.  
“Very delicious,” he said and wanted to take some more popcorn.  
I took my chance and freed me from his grip, before I went to the living room quickly and put the bowl on the coffee table.  
As Louis sat next to me on the sofa, I took some popcorn and throw it at Louis.  
Louis grinned. “You didn’t do that.”  
“Yes, I did,” I meant and wanted to take some popcorn again.  
Just before I reached it, Louis took my wrist and pulled me closer to him. I could not react and Louis turned me on my back. He lay on me carefully.  
“You didn’t see that coming,” he whispered in my ear. I got nervous.  
“No,” I stuttered. My heart beat faster by now.  
Louis eyed me. I looked embarrassed away.  
“You have beautiful eyes,” he suddenly said. I got even more nervous.  
Louis laughed quietly, before he turned my head, so I had to look at him. He came up with his face closer to mine. When I could feel his breath on my lips, I closed my eyes. I felt Louis’ lips softly on mine a second later.


End file.
